Today, I am going to share the notes that I wrote recently during a seminar given by Dr. Leonard Sax. He is author of four books for parents. He is an American psychologist who is currently a practicing family doctor. You can read further about him here on his website: https://www.leonardsax.com/about/
Practical Suggestions:
- If your first language is not English then speak your native language at home.
- Ensure that your kids are fluent in your native language.
- Create social events and get together with other families who speak your language.
With time English has become a language of Disrespect!
What do all enduring cultures have in common?
- Strong bonds of respect across the generations.
- Grandparents play a huge role.
- Community for boys.
- Community for girls.
*Stop Disney Channel – kids are learning disrespectful behavior from it. Kids find it funny to be disrespectful to their parents.
American culture now is culture of disrespect!
The factors that play role in that are:
- bonds of across generation are broken
- culture of disrespect (via songs, media, etc) – now the famous songs and shows have disrespectful content in them
- video games
- social media
VIDEO GAMES: Guidelines:
- no more than 40 mins per day on school nights
- no more than 1 hr on weekends
- hrs don’t roll over -> binge gaming is harmful
- no video game till chores are done
Worse games are the games with Moral inversion (wherein good is bad and bad is good).
You must know and limit what games your child is playing.
http://www.commonsense.org website can be used to know about video games.
Video games impact boys more than girls.
SOCIAL MEDIA:
In past, kids used to have diaries in which they used to write what they wanted to do with life, etc. “Figuring out what you want is not trivial”
Kids no longer have diaries. They have instagram. She is not living, she is performing.
There is no problem with putting a show as long as SHOW MUST END. Girls nowadays live in cyberbubble. They are connecting with others but not being themselves.
- Most teens are not master of time management.
- Be THE PARENT
- Get mobile watchdog/netnanny mobile
- Many girls are going to bed with their phones
- Just because it is easy to be in touch with friends any time now doesn’t mean it should happen
Social Media impacts girls more than boys.
The Rules of Good Parenting:
No devices in the bedroom.
No phones past 9pm – phone stays in parents bedroom after that!
They need phone for alarms? Let them have actual alarm clocks – they still make them.
Have a home phone so if someone wants to reach your child later in the day they can call at home phone which PARENTS pick up and decide if the child can talk!
Lubna Izzathullah MD – Muslim Child Psychiatrist:
“Being Muslim does not protect your child from American culture.”
At what age your child can have Smart Phone? – No child under 13!
Must install parental app
Tell the child all pictures are seen by you before anything is done with them and if you see anything bad then they loose phone forever.
Get the children dumb phones -> that can only be used for calls and basic text.
Teach kids’ virtue & character.
The author did share a handout link with the attendees but I am not certain if it can be shared with the public as it was a paid course. I have tried to reach the moderator of the event, if she confirms that it is okay to share with the public then I’ll share that here too 🙂
Great post 😁
Very informative seminar! I agree with everything he says, especially about the need to speak one’s native language and how nowaday’s movies, shows and songs have obscene and vulgar language
More than language it’s also about tone and body language. He mentioned how in so many shows now they show that parents are stupid, children are the smart ones in home.
That is actually becoming true, and even the parents are often divorced, arguing or the family is overall broken most of the time
As a mother and teacher, I completely agree with limiting technology, whether it’s gadgets or television. The speaker is right that even channels such as Disney which claim to be for children can have inappropriate content and should be monitored.
One point you mentioned that I’m confused about is English becoming a language of disrespect. Could you provide more context from the presentation?
The more and more content of English shows etc is becoming disrespectful. It is being noticed that a child may be speaking some other language and be well behaved and as soon as they switch to English their body languages itself changes without them even realizing… The things they say or find funny while they are speaking English are in some way or the other disrespectful.
This is one interesting and much useful article…Parental control on the devices is really must when you have kids at home….
I just recently got a phone for my 13 year old but was reluctant. I have put parental control on it and monitor her closely at the moment. Agree to limit time on video games etc.
The screen culture has become so pervasive, it’s hard to escape despite your rules. I recently discovered Leonard Sax and looking forward to more from him. He is the kond of odd parenting expert I was looking for! Sharing this with family and friends inshaAllah!
In sha ALLAH 😀